Thursday, July 10, 2008

know thyself

taylor has just turned 10. he is a small 10, with many vague physical and emotional issues. since removing dairy from his diet (after numerous assurances from doctors and allergists that he WAS NOT ALLERGIC TO DAIRY) he has made a huge turnaround physically and emotionally. taylor is sometimes(okay, lots of times) a very trying child, but his uniqueness is magnetic. he is remarkably bright and naiive, blissfully naiive, i think. kids can be so cruel, but he never censors himself or changes the fabric of who he is in order to fit in. despite many cautionary (okay, blatantly, infuriatingly derrogatory and negative) warnings from teachers and school specialists, he will be attending montessori school next year. i think that it will be a great fit for him. i just have to keep saying to myself that i know my kid, i've been right many times before about things medical professionals have sniffed at. i've even saved his life once. that has to count for something! anyway, i have to believe taylor is the kind of kid you never know about. he's full of surprises and wisdom above his years, despite his tiny frame and sometimes infantile behavior. people keep warning me not to "set him up for failure", but i think something is only a failure if we are told it is a failure, right? i'm thinking montessori school is gonna be great, but if it's not the right fit, i'm being told by his "team" that i'm just setting him up for a failure. i say failure is relative. if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. that's life, another lesson learned. we don't tell him it's a "failure", we tell him it's an "experience". they say in al-anon that people are either your light (showing you new ways to live, learn, cope) or your mirror (a reflection of your true self, like it or not). taylor has been heartbreakingly both for me.

a conversation with taylor yesterday:
t (to younger brother connor): you are such a NERD!
me: taylor, that is not very nice.

t: what? he IS.

me: why say that? do you know what a "nerd" is?

t: someone wicked annoying.
me: no, bud. people say a "nerd" is someone who spends the day with their head in a book, or loves science and experiments, maybe someone who knows lots of science or other-related facts(in robotic voice) like; "the diameter of the great pyramids was...."
t:oh, oops. sorry connor.
connor (coming up from under water in pool, completely unphased by "nerd"-calling): huh?

t: i said sorry i called you a nerd.

connor:oh. okay.

t: mom?

me: yes, taylor?

t: i'm a NERD!
me: me too, too.

t: connor is still wicked annoyoing, though.

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